Swirling Mentations...

Feeling lonely as always,
Standing out - looking in at the milling crowd,
wanting to fathom, why am I so disconnected?
I began to realise - why wasn't I one of them...

My skin-tone different,
My hair-texture different,
The way I talk...
The way I walk...
All unlike the accepted norm....

But...who sets these norms?
Weren't they different too?
No two fingers alike....
Or were they all created to be synonymous zombies??

My being different...
Is it a matter or pride or shame?
Different horizon, different perspective...
What's right and what's wrong?

An impasse...

A point of no return....

No compromises anywhere...

Denial - in its unequivocality, everywhere...

Dear Roger Federer...

Oh dear Roger Federer, how I wish I was an alchemist...
I could have given you a potion to stay eternally young...
There would not have been any rivals, peers or nemesis;
There would have been only you - through and through...
People and players would have come and gone...
Decades and decades worth of trophies would have accumulated...
One lord and one master to conquer the sport...
Your fans would have been perpetually blessed...
But you know what?
Like always, there would have been a catch...
Others would have rued their chances, cried over their minor mistakes...
But they never would have had a chance, would they?
That's why Roger..
Even as it pains me..
To see you lose and observe your failings...
I would not give you the potion...
The mantle's passing on,
As it should be...
and that's why Roger...
I am not an alchemist and you are not a follower of alchemy...

Perplexing...

Uninterested, disenchanted...
Disillusioned, indifferent...
Suppositions and assumptions,
Presumptions and predilections,
Life's all about these...
Varying and mutating, 
Shifting paradigms, deign to attract...
Each day, each hour, each minute;
No one knows why,
None knowing what else to try...
an uncanny existence;
a weird rut of complacency...
Boredom towers, ennui hovers;
The world's demanding change,
The world's exacting a revolution...
The pace, however set;
doesn't remotely evoke an inspiration...
Craving and begging;
Down on its haunches...
yet not given up;
The world's showing...
One last chance of utter salvation...

Singularity and Thoughts...

Clairvoyant, is what they call me...
For I predict their future;
They are in awe, they are spell-bound;
Yet they fear me, hold me at bay...
I am the source, of their wariness and cageyness...
Caught in the irony called life,
I am needed yet discarded...
I keep my silence, lest my words ache others;
I keep my eyes down, lest my sight harms others;
Yet I can't keep my ears closed...
My hearing acute - I know the curses that spout;
Why the curse, beyond me...
Am I not the salve they need, when need matters?
Why the hypocrisy, why the turntables?
A prisoner of birth, the author quotes;
My existence..in tandem with his perfect profundity...

Thoughts...

Observation is my forte,

For I am helpless to do anything else,

I can't speak - mute I am;

I can't hear - deaf I am;

I can watch but cannot point - a cripple...

Mentally and physically, shortchanged;

far worse than a human could ever be...

Emotionally - am a wreck;

like a ship that has been tossed and turned...

I know I could have jumped the plank;

If the pirate called fate, had not tied my hands...

If I could, who could I call out to? 

Would anyone would have even reached out?

Now I don't suppose anything, don't assume anything;

Try and let it happen, as it has been so far...

Yet I do want to make a difference, an effort;

A change - even a slight one, if I could...

That's why the observation...

But, what I could and what I actually can;

A chasm - as wide as the night and day...

The only way to link the two;

Make my existence a far worse crepuscle than it needs to be...  

Friendship

I tried being a friend,
I tried to understand you...
You were fine at first,
Hiding and concealing your drawbacks;
Then it started spilling forth...
I thought, maybe this was you;
You were not God, were you??
But, how mistaken was I...
Your snideness, your judmentalism,
You cynicism, your cavalier attitude...
In your eyes, nothing was ever right...
No one was ever perfect, except you...
You say you care, you say you understand;
But why, when I need you to be there?
You never come forth....
I don't to be submissive, 
I am not a fool, like you take me to be...
I am me, if you cannot accept that...
What's your worth to me??

Betrayal

Honesty unvalued,
Dishonesty - a necessity,
Reason to survive, reason to exist...
Underestimated people,
Undervalued sentiments,
Commitments - just a word;
No deliverance, no lingering guilt...
All experience reneging,
All experience emptiness,
Yet all trust over and over again,
Yet all believe in faithfulness...
I did so too, aren't I a human?
I gave chances - second, third and countless...
And they they failed...
Or was the failure mine??
I do not know, I do not comprehend...
All I now know...
Is never to trust, for the hollow promises;
Have left me a leering skeptic of all kinds of premises...