Perplexities

Dignity wrung out,
Self-respect wrenched open,
Derision and contempt everywhere;
even my scruples look away...


I did not want this,
Yet contexts are reduced to this,
Trying and modifying, difficult;
When all routes end in a complex cul-de-sac...


Then I ponder about changes,
Wonder whether that's the justest option?
Then I think more and more;
But the answers, as always, somehow evade me...


There are critics and judgementalists,
Writing me down, bogging me down further;
They think they are gospels, preaching doctrines;
When their own life is as perturbed as mine...


Why can't they just let go,
Let me be me to think and understand further;
I know I will not be always right;
For if I was, then I wouldn't be a human, would I??